from one junkie to another!

January 4, 2010 January 4, 2010

Filed under: Philosophy — Annie Maier @ 6:11 pm
Tags: , , , ,

New Years, Non-resolutions and the Waiting Game

The general consensus in the media and around the web is that 2009 ended not a moment too soon. Being on the cusp of a new age (Aquarius), seems to have unglued not only our culture at large – beginning with the spectacular crash of our economy – but also any number of my friends. I am, it seems, on the lucky side. No illnesses, physical disasters or emotional meltdowns befell me. There were a few close calls, owing more to my general lack of human engagement than to any one occurrence, but nothing lasting and/or insurmountable. Beginning with Obama’s inauguration in January, my 2009 was a reasonable success, filled with the usual amount of upheaval and promise.

 Now it’s 2010. We’ve survived the waning darkness and are about to embark on a new decade. I’ve never been much for making resolutions, being of the belief that transformation can begin at any time, and have not made any plans for sweeping change in my life. I have goals, of course, and ambitions for my present and future. I want to be a better person – more compassionate, more aware, more present – and I want to do well in grad school. I’d like to write more, say more and maybe even publish more. I don’t plan on gaining any weight, nor losing any – though I wouldn’t complain. Getting my arms straight up over my head in yoga would be a bonus. Discovering the cause for the pain in my shoulder would engender a level ecstasy heretofore unheard of. But I’m not holding my breath. And money… I don’t believe in money – which might explain why I don’t actually have much of my own – but maybe there’s a “regular” job in my future. Who knows?

 These are not resolutions, however. They’re intentions. Some I know I will accomplish, others I’m not so sure. (Writing and school are, barring any unexpected brain hemorrhages, within my control. My shoulder, on the other hand, is up to some illusive combination of culprits and cures, including but limited to the gods of aging bodies, my chiropractor, my yoga teacher, my commitment to Qi Gong and exercise and the amount of time I spend hunched over my computer.) I’m not putting myself on a deadline, and I’m not promising anyone, including me, progress. I’ll just take it a moment at a time, doing what I can where I can and accepting the rest. My body is a remarkable tool, letting me know when I can rest and when I need to do more. If I remember to listen, it’ll be a great year.  If not, well…

As for waiting – there’s been no word from Naropa. Registration starts today, but I can’t access their web-reg until they issue me an ID and password, which they won’t do until Wednesday. Classes begin on Monday and I have no books, no classes, no way to move forward. I’m doing everything I can to breathe through this delay, trying to trust the process and not question why in the hell they’d make me wait until Wednesday to register for classes while telling me I’ll be screwed if the ones I need are full. Ah! An opportunity – my first of 2010.  Breathing in, breathing out. In… Out…

Happy New Year!


6 Responses to “January 4, 2010”

  1. Russ Says:


    I can identify with the pain in your shoulder. I strained my back taking down the artificial Christmas tree. I now have a pain that originates in my lower back and finds it’s way to the tips of my extremities. So far I have denied the suggestion that I go to the doctor, preferring to wait it out (more macho that way). I have been looking for some of the lower back exercises given to me by my doctor the last time this happened. B. has been telling me about the benefits of yoga but just the thought of that aggravates the pain. We have a bookstore date tonight so I may browse the “lower back pain relief” section. My goodness girl, we need to get on some happier topics.

    • 2wordjunkies Says:

      Russ –
      Damned those fake Christmas trees! Bonnie is brilliant – yoga can cure just about anything! That said – it’s probably better to start for preventative measures. IF the pain is bad, you may be better off doing some simple range of motion exercises! The impiortant thing, for me too, is to do what we can to remain limber! And I love the sound of a “book store date”!

  2. landrjm Says:

    I hope everything gets worked out today with your registration waiting purgatory! That’s always one of the hardest things for me — relaxing and trusting/letting the universe work itself. As the Tao says, “Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.”

    • 2wordjunkies Says:

      Thanks Jerry! Nice, much needed quote! Pergatory contues, but hopefully will end today at 11 am moutain time! Talk soon!

  3. Oot Says:

    Oh the waiting game. I love the uncertainty (and freedom) of the future, but sometimes I wish I could see it all in one flash.

    Actually, I have a story. 😀

    I was in preschool when I heard this, so the details are extremely hazy (or I have completely reworked them!). It’s either Japanese or Chinese.
    According to the story a wealthy man had a daughter who was the most beautiful daughter in the world. He had heard that she was destined to marry a poor, ugly man unbefitting of her status and beauty, so he shut her away and had the best scholars come to his home and teach her all the fine arts. Somehow he was afraid of losing her entirely and rejected all the handsome professors, hiring a twisted, ugly teacher instead thinking there was no way she would run off with him. Instead, her teacher told her a story of his life before his birth. Apparently, the angels reveal to each person who they are destined to spend their life with but seal the secret deep in the person’s heart by pressing a finger to the person’s lips (that’s why the upper lip turns up slightly). Before this teacher was born, he saw his wife and discovered that she was to be the most hideous woman in the world. He begged God and the angels to give him her ugliness and they made it so. Apparently he became so ugly that the angels refused to touch him, so he was born knowing who his soulmate would be.
    When he told his beautiful pupil this story, he revealed that she was his intended. Immediately she fell in love with him and, much to her father’s dissappointment, ran away with him to live poorly but happily.

    (Trail of thought = I wish I briefly knew my fate –> angels revealing fate and then sealing it away in the story)


    • 2wordjunkies Says:

      Lovely story my lovely girl! A bit meandering, but helpful and sweet and oh-so-like you! Fate just wouldn’t be the same if we knew its path!

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